Past Days

Last weekend saw Dave Matthews with my girlfriend and Yoseph. They rocked. People were totally trashed. End of story.

This week I witnessed a squirrel defend himself from a hawk. The hawk swooped down from the sky and picked the squirrel up off the grass, but dropped him almost immediately. The squirrel hurried for a nearby trea and cluthched the trunk for dear life. I stood there watching as the squirrel and the hawk stared eachother down as if they were in a spagetthi western. The hawk eventually let his wings and flew away and the squirrel returned to his home above.

Not much else has been happening, but I will be updating this blog more often than I have in the past week or so.

Three Practices Essential to a Guy's Well-Being

So Friday night -- actually more like Saturday morning -- Yoseph and I are getting on the elevator to go to our room. Three guys get on with us, each one drunker than the last. They are all carrying these bags of chicken from some kind of fast food place. Smells really good. They strikes up a small conversation and then they get off at the floor below us. We get to the room and after a while I go out to the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash up. In the hallway are two of the guys from the elevator. One of them still has the chicken, but now has no shirt on. The other one is telling him that he can't eat in the bathroom, but shirtless assures him that it will all be okay.

As I'm standing there washing my face, I here this kids stumble into a stall, sit down, and begin to munch away on his chicken. It is a strange place, but its not totally out there. I finish washing my face and after I pat it dry, I head over to a stall for the final spill. As I use the toilet, I can hear the chicken kid in his stall having a bad case of the runs. That chicken goes through ya! I finish up as quickly as I can and I flush the toilet. As I walk by again to begin to brush my teeth, I hear him let out a great sigh of relief. Good for him, right?

I start brushing my teeth and what do I here? This guy is masturbating! He's getting into it, moaning to himself and panting like a dog. I get my stuff together and retreat. This kid managed to eat a meal of chicken, poop, and masturbate all in one sitting. Amazing.

Anyways... an hour later I hear some knocking on the door and who could it be but the chicken-poopin'-masturbatin' kid. He's got a shirt back on, but in a manner that makes me think he put it on the ground and then army crawled into it like a hot-drunken-mess. So he's at the door and he says "Hey man."

And I tell him I don't know him. He smells like ass. "Do you have my keys?" He asks several times. I tell him I don't him again and push the door on him. He grabs my hand and shakes it and asks me if I want to party. I tell him we will, knowing I won't see him again. I close the door, realizing I have chicken-poop-jizz on my hand.

Alarm Cocks Suck Clock

Eight thirty in the morning. CHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Yoseph's alarm explodes in a violent array of noise and static as it cannot locate a radio signal. I'm ripped out of my dream in a very violent matter and scared to the point of heart failure. I'm under my sheets, not sure if I'm still dream or not. I finally stick my head out in the open and I see Yoseph passed out across from me, his alarm clock right above his head screaming like the world is burning. I am in great pain. After a moment I call out his name, but he does not wake up. I finally get up out of my bed and kill the clock. I tap him on the shoulder and he freaks to see what time it is (his class isn't for another hour). I fall back asleep like a child who just had too much Jungle Juice.

Let me tell you about last night...

EEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRGGGHHH! Yes "Ergh" was the booming sound of the fire alarm right above our heads. Yoseph and I are sitting at our desks sometime around 6:30 PM. The fire alarm begins and we both shoot our eyes towards the sprinkler, hoping it doesn't explode, destroy all of our valuables, and drown us by filling the room with black sewage water. We grab our keys and jump down eight flights of stairs (4 floors) and stand on the street. Our building does not burn down.

We ponder at the idea of shooting over to the Wing Stop. Instead we get in the huge line to get back into the building. Twenty minutes later, we're back in our desks.

Afterwards...

It is late. Very late. Almost three in the morning. I could not fall asleep so I surfed the internet looking at kick-ass artwork, but by three, I feel its suitable to try to go to sleep again. Yoseph is laying in his bed, but not sleeping. I get in bed and shut my eyes, but the lights are on. Ten minutes go by and I finally ask him if he wants me to turn the lights off. He gets them instead.

I tell him its late. He says yes. He should not have drank that tea. I laugh.

Hours later and BOOM! Alarm occurrence. As I catch up with my dream, Yoseph rolls back over. Its 9:15 or :20 AM and I notice Yoseph still asleep. I get scared he'll be late or even miss class. I'm not sure what to do. Divine intervention... and... he gets up. Gets dressed. I fall asleep and when I wake up I think he's still there, but he's not, he was just in my dream talking at his desk... creepy.

So all that occurred in the past thirty or less hours. More stuff as soon as it happens.

Jungle Juice

So I've been informed that there's new drink floating around these parties I haven't been attending, but have been vividly writing about... Jungle Juice is the newest sensation hitting the streets. As described by some, it is a very dark mixture, which looks like vomit, but smells like fruit punch. Somewhere in its recipe is a very heavy dosage of grain alcohol and that is all that is currently know. More information about this Jungle Juice will be publicized once the secrets are unearthed.

Several Downers About Frats

So it has been a while since my last post, but I've been busy and I've also been contemplating whether or not I should have posted this... but I'm going to. Last week there was a Frat party and people were being invited left and right. I was invited, but I knew right off the bat that I wasn't going to go, because Frat parties are bad new. Animal House may have been a great movie, but it didn't come close, in my opinion, to showing all the bad shit that comes out of your standard Frat party.

These are two things I was told happened that night. The first bit of information was given to me by an old friend. An anonymous party was on his or her or their way to the party when he or she or they were stopped by two persons, one of which was wielding a shotgun, who came from out of an alleyway. A mugging occured and it is only another reason I don't walk down Diamond Street on a normal basis. STAY OFF DIAMOND STREET.

This is the second thing that happened that night. At the party, like most, there was an array of cups with mixed drinks in them. As the party came to an end and everyone was on their way home, between five and ten (don't really remember the exact number) boys didn't quite make it all the way. These guys weren't even scrawny guys like myself, but were big burly athletes. Some passed out in their dorms on their beds. Some just a few feet from their beds. I was even told that one individual was found passed out on the sidewalk in front of his dorm. At the party roofies were dropped into random drinks and these lucky guys experience the full effect of the date rape drugs. Does anyone suppose any girls experienced the full effect? What other experiences do you think they had that they aren't even aware of?

Like I said, Frats are bad news and Frat parties are even worse. This is all the more reason I will not be attending any.

More stories soon.